horrible...

you know what...

sometimes i felt my life always full for crazy stuffs...

izit because i am crazy that why them choosed to happened around me ?

i don mind with those things liddat...

ya...

because i am abnormal too...

just...

i realise somethings...

something i always know but i don wan to admit it...

truth is always ugly...

very ugly...

sometime i just wan to act innocent but....

there were always sumthing happened and i never understand why i been involved...

almost everyday i had something to blog about..

something really crazy or unbelievable...

i am not complaining or blaming anyone...

maybe...

this is my life...

this is the way it should be...

i am just...

just...

release my feeling...

nothing serious...

just something horrible...

about...

the truth...

had a tiring day today T.T

today happened a lot of things...

i duno how to say...
and i don wan to say....

i am extremely exhausted....

just hope...
the main characters will life happily forever...

i reached home at 11 pm at night =.=
but...
at least....
i knew some new friends ^^

and..
i talked to alot of people today...

i knew alot of things...
bad things..
good things...

all of them are fighting in my brain now...

我是谁。。。。

上个月我还在为繁忙的功课、考试烦恼。。。
一个星期，六天都去上课。。。
在班上和同学胡闹、玩耍、偷吃东西、捣蛋、聊天。。。
有做不完的事。。。

二零零八年七月二十四号。。
一个星期四。。
倒霉的星期四。。。
永远都不会忘记的星期四。。

我还记得那天早上早读课到第一节我还在睡觉。。。
起来时还很兴奋因为老师没有来让我有时间补眠。。

换节时还跑过去帮朋友戴隐形眼睛。。

第二节在跟君君聊天。。

真的很开心。。

谁会知道这是我在高二理和的最后一天。。

突然训导跑进我班。。
说有事找我。。
把我请出去。。


那时你不懂我有多紧张。。
我以为我的头发还是仪容不及格被抓到了。。。


谁知道。。
我那天离开后
就再也没有回去了。。

我踏出我的教室时，
我还答应我的朋友回来陪他吃饭。。
可是
我再也没有回去了。。。


我花了很长的一段时间才有勇气把这件事说出来。。。

我被休学了。。。
强制的休学了。。。


校方让妈妈和姐姐带我回家。。
最后一次的书包也不让我自己收拾。。

理由是不让我回去见我的朋友。。
不希望这事传出去。。。


我到底做了什么？？？



我哭着回家。。。
已经哭了五个小时。。

被家人责备。。
被自己的压力折磨。。
一直没有停止哭泣直到我哭到吐了。。。
差点就自杀了。。。

眼睛肿了。。
头痛了。。。

突然不明白我是谁。。。

我是谁？


呆了快五年的学校。。
突然变成禁止进入的地方。。。

今天早上还在班上和同学吵吵闹闹的。。
下午就被休学了。。。

我还欠她钱呢。。
原本打算下个星期还的。。。
我还约了他吃早餐。。。
我负责的班刊、班服还没弄好呢。。。
现在都不用做了。。。

发生的太突然了。。
太。。突然了。。。

我真的可以接受么？？

多四个月我就毕业了。。。
我没有做过什么坏事。。。

为什么在现在突然把我踢出来？？

我还没来得及跟朋友说再见。。
下个星期我还要陪我的妹过生日呢。。。

我。。。
就被休学了。。。。

这突如其来的改变。。
我承受的了么？

那年。。。
我才十七岁。。。


就因为“校誉”2个字,就因为我们是名校。。。
让我差点自杀了。。。


你不会了解我的感受。。。
那种比死还要痛的感受。。
没有疤痕。。
可是。。
没法忘记。。。

看着我的朋友一个一个崩溃。。。
看着我的父母不想认我这个女儿。。。
看着我自己。。
看着每个人。。。
我崩溃了。。

事情已经过了一年。。。

可是。。

我怎么可能放的下？？

Am i ok ?????

Actually i felt kinda emo this few days....

of course...

july 24th..this date... reminded me something...
something happened on 24th july 2008...



i...
been kicked out from my high school....
on that day...
i remember how YOU force me to walk out the school...
i remember i want to burn your office so much before...

actually...
this is nothing to feel sad for it...
this is nothing will make me felt emo...

but i just never forget...

how my friends cried...
screamed...
chased the dissipline teacher just because they wan to know where i go...
they phoned me...
the messaged me...
they do watever they can just to make sure i am ok...
but...


i cant even do anything ....



my parents....
i saw how they react when they first fetched me home...
they don believe me...
they don wan to remember i am their children...
i understand why they will felt so..
and i know they still love me..
but...


it's hurt me alot..
really alot...



i almost kill myself that night..
i cried...
and cried...
til i vomitted...
but i cant stop crying...
i cried for how many seconds,mintues,hours,days and weeks....


i been kicked out by my lovely high school..
the place just like my 2nd house...

only left 4 months...
4 months more i will take me SPM and leave tat school, y don u just keep me for 4 months ????

i have been studied there for 4 years and 7 months !

all my memorizes...
my friends...
my love...


of course..


i hate YOU... alot ..




my headmaster...

but..

in a positive side...
is good too....


at least...
YOU taught me how to appreciate my teachers...
my disipline teachers too ...

i saw their eyes with tears when YOU force me to left the school..
i saw they were standing in front of their office looking at me...
they felt pity ...
they felt worried...
they care about us...
they love us..

but YOU...
treat me like an alien...
my friends.. my teachers...
wrote letters..
collected signatures just wan us to get back to school...

but YOU..
YOU rejected..
just because your stupid excuses...
Screw yourself...

YOU made me experienced so much..
YOU made me pass all these hard time..
YOU made me appreciate my family and friends...

i'll prove to YOU..
i'll be more better...

YOU will deserve what u did..
what YOU did to two 17 years old girls...
YOU almost destroy their future..
YOU almost kill them...


i will never forget that feeling..
it's so hurt and so pain..


YOU...
better take care...


because...

you made me hate YOU...

and...


i am CRAZY TING...

Tagged by Michelle Lim AGAIN...haha... i love it actually XD

1. What have you been doing recently?
allergy to love ? sleeping ? enjoying my holidays and life XD

2. Do you ever turn your hand phone off?
ya...i did it once on july 14th i guess...

3. What happened at 10am today?
ohoh... having POE tutorial class ^^ the lecturer is cute XD

4. When did you last cry?
june 17th ? this is the most serious 1 i could remember right now...

5. Believe in Fate/ Destiny?
Fate i guess XD

6. What do you want in life now?
oni happiness XD

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or put up your hood?
put up my hood... gua

8. What's your favorite thing to do in bed?
haha.....sleeping and making out ? sorry if i am too honest =.=

9. What bottoms are you wearing now?
Shorts lo

10. What are the nicest thing in your inbox?
alot of memorizes...

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
i don wan to.. but i think i did XD

12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
nope

13. What was the last movie you caught?
ermm... obsessed XD a crazy movie -.=

14. What are you proud of?
i am who i am XD

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say and who is it from?
wah wah wah...from kritz...he compliamented my wild kiss photo XD

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
this... i really don remember.. but is english song i guess

17. Do you have any nicknames?
a lot =.= boom.. ting.. shitting.. bla bla...

18. What does the newest text message say and who is it from?
pei yan.. she said thanks you to me for the birthday message...

19. What time did you sleep last night?
4.00am... because i forget to sleep =.=

20. Are you currently happy?
kinda gua XD i will be more happier if i could don think abt anything XD

21. Who give you the best advise?
everone who love me out there

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
i never try be4...

23. Who did you talk on the phone last night?
steven... jux a short while to make sure i am fine.

24. Is something bugging you right now?
love XD

25. Who is the last person to make you laugh?
sandy XD she jux called me =.= and asked me to go clubbing on thurs XD

26. Do you like yourself?
no... a big NO NO... because i LOVE myself XD hahahaha...

27. You want $5 or $10?
both.... XD

28. Do you think you are stupid sometimes?
Ya... when i doing something tat i asked myself not to do....

29. Who is your best best best best best friend?
there are many of them...

30. What will you do if you like that girl?
try to geto close to her... be her friend... and make her fall for me XD haha.. joking

31. Who are your favorite stars?
this... not sure

32. You hate your mother sometimes in some ways?
sure.. when she start to be unreasonable...

33. Do you had even stead before?
ya... when i am 5

34. What type of girl do you like?
wah... i like a lot of gals wie XD depends on my feeling..

35. Now are you single/attached?
single.. and enjoying XD


Pass this tag to 8 people: -
[1] Steven
[2] ZhiYing
[3] Yoong Min
[4] Eunice
[5] Sue Ann
[6] Lih Ying
[7] any female
[8] any male

1. Would you date number 5?
sure.. but she is straight...

2. Number 2 just got a car crash and how do you react?
of course go visit her and make sure she is fine

3. You see no.9 with your boy/girlfriend. What do you do?
er...i tot til no.8 only ?

4. You come home and your room has been ransacked by number 4.
OMG... i think i will be asking her why...

5. Number 1 is acting weird.
as usual la....( same as Michelle Lim although not the same person XD)

6. Number 3 and 8 decide to give 10 a haircut.
-.=

7. Number 7 just got a ticket for him/her and you to go to a concert.
maybe i will go ^^

8. Number 10 takes you to a bar.
swt*

9. No. 4 has to move to the other side of the world.
OMG.. i will miss her T.T

10. You and number 8 are being chased by the cops for an unknown reason.
mostly because they fall for us XD hahaha...

11. Number 7 and you sitting on the couch watching a movie when her/him wrap his/her arm around you.
maybe i will kiss her XD joking...i don mind at all...

12. Number 5 ask you out for dinner.
Sure... she is my good friend T.T

13. Number 9 and you are sitting on the bus.
speechless

14. Number 6 calls you in the middle of night because she/he can't sleep.
erm.. i will talk to her lo.. she is my best friend..

15. You're walking with someone and number 6 runs up and tackles you to the ground from behind.
ha... i think... this won happen gua XD or maybe XD

16. Number 1 is crying one day and you ask him/her why and it seems their boy/girlfriend has dumped them.
erm..... i will ask... which gf ? me ? XD

17. Number 2 offers to bake you a meal. As you sit in the other room, the kitchen suddenly aflame.
i will run into the kitchen and save her out...

18. Number 4 comes to your door one day holding a koala.
wah... erm... izit for me ?

19. Number 4 just got u an x-box.
i don think so it would happen =.=

20. Number 1 thinks he/she's overweight.
he is doing it XD haha... but i don think so la... he damn thin la k =.=

21. Number 7 looks lonely.
i will accompany her XD

22.Number 2 asks you rudely to go leave him/her alone.
ermm... she won.. if she did.. she will regret XD

23. Number 5 and 3 decide to throw a surprise party for you.
haha.. i hope so XD

24. Number 6 decide to dye her/his hair black. What do you say about that?
i tot... her hair is black ?

25. Number 7 tells you he/she is going to go out for a while, and then later you hear about a shooting where he/she went.
phone her lo...

26. Number 1, 3, 5 and 6 all tackle at you once. Is it possible?
haha... in my life.. nothing is impossible XD

- I skip one or two questions. Because Michelle Lim skipped it XD -

My another first time >_<"

you know wat...
yaya...

today i am going to blog about my FIRST time ...

i knew some friends they tried it when they were much more younger than me..
like 15, 16 or even earlier...
this isn't something special for them...

but mine....

is happened yesterday ...

yesterday..
i was so exciting... and curious....
i wanted to try this for a long long time ago....
but i don have the chance...
and my parents n my sister usually stop me...

i really felt so happy when my mum said :

yes... please try XD

after i tried..

OMG....
the feeling is fucking wonderful..
it is amazing ^^
i never have such feeling before..
is so different and... AWESOME !!!!
i am loving it...

people...

do you wan to try wif me ??

ohoh...
i forget to say..

.

yesterday..
is the first time i used cleanser, toner and moistureizer to wash my face XD

the 1st time i hang out wif a TB...

today...

where i go ????

haha....

yeah....




SUSHI KING !!!!!!!

i took some photos when we were eating....

enjoy our SUSHIsssss ^^

i really enjoy alot XD

but...

i am freaking tired T.T

do you know who going with me ?????

yeah....


LEE ZHIYING xD

i really love my camera u know...
although is not something professional...

20 minutes later....

we ordered dessert XD

watermelon ais-cream XD

believe me....

is freaking nice !!!!!

see...

both of us love it alot XD

we didn order this...


but...

it's freaking cute right XD

haiz...
do you guys know wat happened today ?????

we went to toilet together after our movie....

but something stupid happened =.=

the worker in Times Square which use to clean the toilet follow us to the toilet and shout at us while we were inside the toilet...

why ???

this gal...

they tot this gal was a boy...
and we are going to do something inside the toilet...
yeah...
you're right....
they tot we are going to have sex or something sexual =.=

FUCK !!!!!

she doesn't look like boy ok =.-

i will prove it with her few photos...

ermm....

okkay....

maybe..

she is a bit boylish...

anyway....

whose cares XD

let's enjoy our photos ^^

i enjoyed my day ^^

just i am exhausted =.=

she really changed alot....

last time she was not this boylish T.T

haha....

He and She....

wat i am going to blog about ??

i am going to blog about my exes...
i had several exes but the 1 i would like to blog about ....
were only both of them...

he and she...

she...
we started our story since 4 february 2007..
i knew her as my classmate for 1 year before we get together...
our relationship last for 20 months and 6 days...
we had a lot of memorizes...
we will buy breakfast for each others..
we will accompany each others to our bus..
we took pictures..
we wrote letters...
we made cards...
to show our love...
we changed ourselves for each others..
we share every single thingy..
we chat about everything in our life...
we were so into each others til i may sence it when something happened to her although we were far away to each others...
we been kicked out from our high school becuz our relationship..
we almost commit suicide for each other becuz of our parents want us to break up...
we were so sweet...
so wonderful...
so amazing...
even now....
inside my drawer all were our memorizes...
we had too much memorizes and thingy that related each others...
she is the first gal i kissed...
the 1st gal i hugged..
the 1st gal i wanna be with..
the only human being..
i wanna marry with..
and she..
is my 1st girlfriend...
but so sad..
we argued, quarrelled very often..
we had different thinking, attitude and behaviours..
it caused a lot of conflicts...
til we broke up...
even we loved each others..
even we had so many memorizes..
even..
we cant lose each others...

he...
my 1st officially boyfriend..
our relationship started from 30 april 2009 and last for 48 days...
it sound short and weak...
but..
he was the 1st guy i fall for...
he was the 1st guy i cant control myself from going back to him...
he was the 1st guy i kissed, i hugged, i trust ...
he was the one i really wan to rely on...
we spent a lot of time together..
we had a lot of photos..
we met each others' friends and parents...
we went to trip together...
we had a lot of memorizes even though we jux last for 1 months plus..
we were so close and last til after we broke up..
he did a lot of stuff for me...
he accompany me back to tasik selatan by KTM jux to make sure i am safe..
he always keep me warm..
he always make sure i am safe..
he care about me..
he mind about me..
i truly appeciate it...
maybe it is too much..
maybe it is too over...
i still appreciate it..
becuz..
i knew.. he changed himself and did a lot of thing just to make me happy...
maybe in a bad way...
maybe in a good way..
maybe my friends or siblings don like it...
still...
he did it for me..

i felt thankful..
to both of them...
doesnt matter our stories will continue anot..
i wanna say thanks you to both of them...
we had a lot of sweet memorizes with them..
i appreciate it..
even there are some sad memorizes...
i still appreciate it...
i appreciate everything u guys did for me...

maybe we had some misunderstanding...
i hope...
we will solve it one day...

thanks you...

my love..

how the Crazieee Gang behaving in Genting ???

yeah...
we were going XD

the Crazieee Gang !!!!

try to guess...
what were we doing ?

torturing ???

playing guitar with sun glasses ???

creating rumours ??????

being buddies ????????

having sex ????

charba-ing ????

gossiping ???

or....

acting gay ??????

haha....

we were doing all of that XD

joking XD

enjoy our sexy back XD

and legs XD

i found some....

sexual thingy =.=llll

kinda sweet right ^^

please...

enjoy our photos XD

OMG....

SCANDALOUS wie ^^

now.....

i would like to introduce...

our sleeping Beauty ^^

there are somemore photos actually....
but...
i guess....
better don post it XD

Sandy is the most amazing person i ever meet, u know...
i really appreciate she appear in my life XD

Sandy ...

i LOVE you ^^

haha

where were the others ????

haha....

they...

were

acting GAY !!!!!!

kinda adorable when they are carrying our bag...

do u agree ??